Today i went down to the cafeteria for lunch for the first time since the Jurassic period. People were so shocked to see me, someone asked me whether i was in hiding for a holocaust no one else knew about.
People generate this idea in their heads that i am a ball of stress and i've been studying 20 hours a day in my room. Not eating not sleeping not shitting just studying.
My new housemate Kugi keeps giving me these lovely fruits. Which i love. But i suspect she thinks i am a closet anorexic because she has this deep look of concern in her glistening eyes.
KK my angel randomly surprised me with the satanic concoction that decreases sperm count in men, but has no gonadic effect whatsoever on me because i am clearly not a man.
I really appreciate it that some of you are somewhat concerned about me, but i am not stressed out -____-
Not one bit.
Not yet, at least.
"Hey baby. Come here often?"
I love how his tongue us sticking out at her. So inappropriate.
Like i was saying. I am a picture of calm. I am like a rippleless lake on a hot afternoon. I am the eye of a tornado.
It's so absurd that i actually have a picture that synchronizes with my text.
Anyhow, here are more products-of-my-ADD because my ability to focus just dissipates into thin air when i'm hungry.
Where do i get one that says "Mrs Dicaprio". Or "Mrs Norton". Or "Mrs Palahniuk Although It's So Inappropriate Because He's Gay". Or "Mrs Dr John Dorian"?
Speaking of Dr John Dorian, ah look who i found in a magazine!
In my third year, i'll be getting my very own pair of surgical scrubs. Just like JD's.
Mmmmm JD...
This last POMADD was an inspiration i got from a picture by Marc Johns.
"I have told Rowley at least a billion times that now that we're in middle school, you're supposed to say 'hang out,' not 'play'.
A bit from the copy of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" that Angelin mailed to me a while back.
I woke up this morning and the weather was like this,
Actually this was taken in the afternoon, but the conditions were more or less the same.
It was caressingly windy, all the annoying chirpy birds were on medical leave so there were only crickets' violins playing in the air. It was so simplistically soothing that i permitted myself to sleep in till 10, (i've been getting up at 8). I so cannot wait for finals to come so that we can finally get it over and done with.
I made several more of "these", i really don't know what to call them. Products-Of-My-ADD can be shortened to POMADD, which sounds like a swear word.
This particular one was inspired by this FML parody site.
It's the optimists' version of FML, i read about 2 entries and felt sunshine coming out of my anus. Not unlike the scene from Disney's Beauty and the Beast where the Beast turns back into his yummy human form and lasers start coming out of his fingers and toes.
I love this scene.
However, i do not love GMH.
If people need hope, they should get a religion.
FML, on the other hand, makes me laugh and gives me waaay more hope.
She is one of my favourite models because she's the first one who managed to sell me something. I don't know if you people remember this Loreal ad from way back when,
It was on the back cover of Malaysian seventeen magazines for a long time, back when i was in school and thought it was the coolest magazine in the world.
There's something very captivating about Natalia Vodianova that made me run out to Guardian to buy a bottle of Toner. I can't really remember whether it was good.
The only other model that sold me anything was Filipa Hamilton.
Nowadays you'd have to donate both your kidneys to me and i still wouldn't buy anything from you.
AIMEE WHY ARE YOU SO FREE?! Aren't you supposed to be studying??? My mother doesn't comment but if she figures out how to, i think this is what she's going to say.
Because i wake up early in the morning. I eat while studying, shit while studying, pretend to be a mermaid while studying. Don't do anything else in between. Sometimes, i take out rubbish and start cutting them up to make them pretty again. Hmm is that justificable?
Anyway i like this POMADD because i'm a sucker for symmetry. And did you notice how i spelt BOOK$ with a $ sign? HAHAHA sometimes i'm so funny kan KAN?!
This reminded me of how Yi Pin would use bus tickets or rm1 notes as bookmarks. I've always wished he'd accidentally leave his money behind when he returned my books.
I dont know who he is, but he is gorgeous. Taken off lookbook, of course.
Before i start of my daily rant about everything and nothing, i would like to share several money can't buy discoveries. Uhh, because i can.
I found this company which sells basic phamaceutical products like plasters and aspirins in adorable packages. It's all a gimmick i know, but a very smart one indeed. The page i linked is one of the features on their website. Please try out each and every HELP, they are priceless!
And since when consumerism is about products nowadays? Everything is about selling the concept.
Drew Barrymore for Guess?, 1993.
When we pay for something, we're not just purchasing it for it's utility. We're buying the idea, the lifestyle, the package, the whole kadoodle. It's a futile obsession about what's what and who's who that we need to break out of.
For strength, i recommend this link that Angelin sent me.
Because she's just so wonderful like that.
Today i am going to tell you where i buy my books because i want the world to be devoid of disillusionment. The only way you can achieve enlightenment is by reading. Screw yoga screw reality tv screw school.
The pictures featured on this blog like the one of Yi Pin over here were taken in some dingy secondhand bookstores in Chowrasta market, Penang.
I love this place because of its atmosphere. The dust, the bugs, the stifling air, the indian uncles.
Yesterday i watched a French film called Le Fabuleux Destin d' Amelie Poulain. Starring the stellar Audrey Tautou You probably know her from The Da Vinci Code,
You can find the movie on youtube, please do not go another day without watching it. It is truly magical. I shan't spoil it for you, like i do so often, by given you detail accounts of the plot. I beg of you to please watch it.
The movie honestly made me think. I think this past year has changed me so much, not just in terms of hairstyles, which i seem to obsess so much about.
I think my character has become so diluted that sometimes i don't even get me anymore. Melissa told me yesterday that lately she has been feeling old and, what's the word she used? ahhh...pensive! I tried to be consoling but what she said was a haunting echo of what i've been thinking about lately.
18 really is a sweet age to be. I remembered how spontaneous and reflective i used to be. I created. I wrote more, i drew, i took pictures of things that really mattered to me regardless of whether or not it was artistic or pretty, i made music, i held proper conversations, i travelled.
Making more friends. Getting distinctions in tests. Having more clothes. They are just illusive forms of happiness that lure you away from what you want to be. Am i asking for too much. I just want to be Aimee, and lately im becoming something else that i sometimes can't recognize. People i;ve known for ages find it foreign to talk to me.
I used to be proud of who i am. My weirdness and odd behaviour. But have i joined the single file? If this is growing up, then sorrymomsorrygod, i don't like it very much.
Photography used to be so honest and personal. With my K550i that was so cruelly taken away from me. Now i'm just known as the girl with the camera who'd update your shit on facebook so make a funny face, she's going to snap one right now!
Don't get me wrong. I like updating photos on the internet, it makes them somewhat everlasting. But don't use me like that. Don't put me in your little pigeonholes and unconsciously bribe me to make you look pretty.
I don't mean to sound so pissed, im not even in an angry mood. I just need a release. Maybe i need another vacation alone.
I got this necklace in Batu Feringgi for rm15. Angelin picked it out. Love it.
I am going to realign my perception today. I will model my own sense of justice. Stop trying to please people i don't even like. Love intensely. Smile truthfully. Read passionately. Discover curiously. And never be predictable.
Btw, i've always envisioned my future house to look like this. Remarkable.
I also want to get this tattooed someday,
(as in the plane. Not the content of the book)
As a reminder that the world is too big for your mind to grasp, for ever drop of knowledge that you do obtain; there's another ocean of shit you have yet to find out.
I wonder if my mother'd approve. DONT WORRY LAH MA, I have no money. My brother said she had fits when she found out about the 1st one, though she was a picturesque pinnacle of zen in front of me.
KH made me get out of the house for some sunshine. Otherwise, he reasoned, i will turn into a plant.
A statement i found to be hilariously ironic. I mean, i don't need sunshine, but a plant would.
But nevertheless i left the house, and strolled around the university at 4pm because the breeze was just right.
Guess what came in the mail for me?
My name in exclamation! Trust Melissa to come up with something like that. She sent me a 5-page letter and multiple shades of blue and a Calvin and Hobbes quote "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the univerise is that none of it has tried to contact us."
Along with,
T_T
Terharunya. She even wrapped it in random Chemistry notes She's going to do Chemistry in Oxford soon. so that i wouldn't forget her.
Would you believe that i've only seen Melissa once in my life, but she's once of the most remarkable people i've ever had the fortune to meet. She says the most incomprehensible, random things. She wouldn't scoff at interpretive dancing or eating in the rain or singing Disney songs out loud. Actually quite the contrary, she'd nose dive into these things.
Woman, you've made my day. :)
Though study week has been tremendously mundane. I feel as if my body's gradually morphing into an inorganic being. Hello, i even shit at the same time every morning now.
But emotionally, it has been rather fulfilling. To be all alone, and not have any humanly contact. It gives you a lot of space and time to FEEL. In between all that arduous studying of course.
To go through each routine action differently, like with an imaginary friend. To look out the window and watch the winds change direction. To hear your own uncluttered thoughts. The liberty of not having to put on a bra for 4 days.
My aunty Cynthia uploaded these pictures on Facebook a couple of days ago.
I LOVED THAT DRESS! I must've been the only 10 year old in the 90s who was still wearing frocks! I think that era of my sense of style lasted till i was eleven or twelve. All i wore back then were these girlish dresses with bows at the back and frilly socks and hairbands!
I like looking at old pictures although they make me cringe. That is why i never untag my hideous pictures on facebook because that's all you have left of times you've walked by.
I also like it when i see my secret on Postsecret, even though i didn't post it. This has happened so many times i can't even begin to illustrate the creepiness of coincidence. But it's comforting, to learn that you're not and will never be, alone.
I know i look ghastly and that waitress is staring at us. But KH looks good, so yeah.
On Tuesday he called me because he missed me and we talked for about 2 hours. I know that statement sounds very run of the mill for some but it's rather rare for us because that's not how we normally function.
And i began to feel so in depthly thankful for us being such idealists. I mean, if we were one of those people who had to say "I miss you" 23984 times a day, how would i know when he truly does, and when he's just saying it.
If we have to hear each other's voices every 15 minutes, it becomes an obligation, not a longing.
Today, i found out my wholemeal bread has lived 3 days past its sell-by date. And the cafeteria guy gave me the world's largest slice of watermelon. Un-FML.
This week may be what i shall dub the "Solitary Confinement in AIMST" week, but it is no doubt the most fun i've had since i got here.
