I've been OD-ing on so much Saosin lately that i decided i needed to detox. Yesterday i had a whole day to myself so immersed myself completely into the comforting arms of youtube. And listened to some new bands.
Although some of them came pretty close, nothing could tease me and bring me over the edge of musical orgasm the way Saosin can.
So today i returned to obsessively watching their videos. I should really be studying for Communication. But God of Prosperity came into my dreams last night and told me i should listen to more Saosin.
Last night i saw a Johnny Depp movie which i didn't love, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This movie is basically a 120-minute acid trip. Where there isn't a definitive line between reality and hallucination. If you like to see people morph into reptiles, imaginary blood ooze from floors, actors screaming gibberish at each other and how Johnny Depp and Tobey Maguire'd look like with alopecia, this is the movie for you!
I don't hate it, i just didn't see the point of it all.
Perhaps i need to learn to be less uptight about structure, and planning, and looking ahead. Maybe being calculating and unbearably compulsive will one day shatter me into 6000 symmetrical pieces.
I just find solace in organization these days. In all seriousness, i blame the aging process. Just 2 years ago, i was this impulsive, borderline nymphomaniac. I thrived in chaos, i highlighted my notes in 2389742 lurid colours, i swung my ponytail in people's faces, Fight Club was my bible.
Now i cringe when you put your feet on my couch -___-
Justin Shekoski's guitar asked me to listen to Bill Hicks.
The late Bill Hicks is a stand-up comedian.
Basically what he's trying to say is, just shut up and enjoy the ride. Sort of like that old song, Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be. But uh, a lot less melodious.
But i find that philosophy, so hedonistic. How can you just DO things without formulating the possible outcomes of your actions? Don't you care about how this might affect you in years to come. Or how many people's souls you'd have to bulldoze over.
You'd have to come to realize that your life is not a game of Snakes and Ladders that completely depends on twists of your dice-rolling, requiring no brain power whatsoever.
You don't just nosedive into situations and wait for things to come your way. You gotta MAKE these things happen.
Some people lay around, waiting for life to happen.
People might call them lazy, but truth is i envy them. For baby, they were born to run.
I have just started the 3rd module of my second year. So far, the lecturers have been very interesting. My Pharmacology lecturer brings his grandson out and "exposes him to nonsense" (his words, not mine) because he thinks his daughter-in-law is too sterile.
Today we had a class on concepts of health. And we discussed something known as Marlow's hierarchy of health.
I found this pyramid to be quite interesting. I think we screw our bodies up because we don't respect the orientation of the hierarchy. We have to make sure we have a sound base before trying to achieve the qualities mentioned on the top of the pyramid.
In my over-ambition, i have tried to achieve self-actualization, now i realize i still got to work on things on the lower portion of the pyramid. Namely the esteem bit.
Yesterday Alice and I had movie night in our room, we chose The Ugly Truth because uh, that's what girlfriends do right, they watch romantic comedies. Unless you have girlfriends like me, then you get to watch things like The Shining.
I liked the funny bits because they were quite crude. And unlike other romantic comedies, they never attempted to make the lead actress a bumbling, clumsy doozy who embarrasses herself in front of the lead actor.
But i didn't like how Katherine Heigl's character ended up with Gerard Butler's. COME ON. They hate each other. People of opposite poles never work out, heck even people who have everything in common don't work out, i know that much is true T_T
You want the ugly truth?
In reality, she would've ended up with the doctor. I don't care if the other guy's freaking "THIS IS SPARTAAAA!" and The Phantom of the Opera. But in this movie he's a chauvinist. And COME ON. Look at that DOCTOR.
(Btw i go to medical school, nobody looks like that -____-. So yeah, only in movies.)
This is why i (almost) never watch romantic comedies. They make me so agitated. They make people (women especially, because we think too much, and understand so little.) believe that they need love to be complete (DAMN YOU, TOM CRUISE!)
Love isn't something that can understood in a 90 minute movie. Or explained in a lousy article in a women's magazine. Heck, i don't even know what it is anymore. When it's here, you don't want it. When it's neither here nor there, you don't know what to do with it. When it's finally gone, you'll fuck yourself over wondering what went wrong.
The only safe conclusion i can deduce from my amateur anthropological analysis is that,
Women, don't get into a relationship hoping your men would change, because you'll only be disappointed.
Men, don't get into a relationship hoping your women would never change, because you'll only be disappointed.
Women, don't get into a relationship without any expectations, because you'll only be disappointed.
Men, don't into a relationship with any expectations, because you'll only be disappointed.
But the most important conclusion of them all, is to never listen to Aimee's Amateur Anthropological Analysis, because she knows shit.
Why am i so upset?
I shouldn't be.
The article in the women's magazine says i should celebrate myself.
Uh yes, i was THIS close to Saosin. (Thank you Angelin and Emily for being there at 4pm.) I am not going to bore all of your with fanaticism, just some interesting moments i need to document. You, know in case i contract Alzheimer's or Facebook becomes obsolete.
Beau (who's actually much tinier in real life) is the nicest guitarist ever.
I was being crushed against the stage and some monkey accidentally slapped me while headbanging. He slid me his guitar pick.
I so kindly gave it to KH, because he's a much bigger fan girl than i'll ever be.
Another cool moment'd be right before the concert. We were having dinner at some stalls next to KL Live, where the concert was going to be held.
Some guy with dreadlocks walked up across the street from ours. I told the guys "Hey, look, that's Cove." Due to the unlikelihood of that, nobody believed me. Heck, i didn't even manage to fully convince myself that it was him!
Turns out it was, because he wore the same clothes when he was performing. D'oh!
As if being unable to recognize a Saosin member was bad enough.
We bumped into the drummer, Alex on our way home. Roy was yelling "That's him!". So we just waved politely because we weren't that sure. Then Beau joined him and we went crazy!
(Well not really lah, i think we're way too old and wimpy for 'crazy'.) We just waved again, but less politely and more frantic.
Why am i not telling you kids about the concert? Because
a) You think Saosin is a brand of kicap soya, and wouldn't be interested anyway.
b) You are interested but wasn't enthusiastic enough to make it to the concert. Then shame on you. IT WAS INSANE!
They even came out after the concert to surprise us. I thought getting autographs were very boybandy, but it was nice to get to shake hands with them and tell them how happy they made me.
Here are the rest of the pictures. I was feeling glum after the concert because:
a) it was over. Felt like i've just given birth and had my child taken away from me.
b) I've seen my favourite bands perform, i have nothing to look forward to anymore :(
I could find a new band to be devoted to, but that feels like infidelity.
(Love Me Butch opening.)
I even considered being a groupie. I checked flights to Singapore for today because that's where they'll be performing tonight. Anyone up for that kind of madness?
Yesterday, for the first time in 23984723 years, i went out with KH.
We rocked out in his car, laughed till we cried and shared chili cheese fries and toothpaste-flavoured ice cream.
Are we back together? Well, no.
But why not?
He's still the same KH i've known and grew to love.
He will never tell me his opinions about girls. He is still amused by my recycled lame jokes. Still homophobic, philosophic, and telepathic. He still smells the same, crosses streets the same way and wouldn't say bad words out loud.
I just haven't decided whether or not consistency is what we need.
If i went proceed further with this entry, he'd say "emotional threshold breaching safety limit!". Just as well, because i've ran out of words.
This is for you.
I was wearing a horrible nightie. The same one i was wearing when i refused to let you come over that day, but you came ANYWAY akjhekrhjbwkjhegd!
How has the holidays been treating you? So far, i've been
a) taking 2893742 pictures of myself because of 3 words: Good Hair Day.
b) watching at least a movie a day. Angelin, Yi Pin and I saw The Shining today. 80s horror movies are SO.SLOW. The exciting bits only appear 30 minutes into the end. And the string music ARRRRGH!
You wouldn't want to know what we had to go through to take our 1st family picture of 2010.
c) And as always, when i come home:
I'm so glad i do not have scissorhands because then i wouldn't be able to play the piano.
(No guitar covers, pals. My guitar strings broke.)
