| | Where to, Miss? To The Stars
I think 1997's Titanic has been commonly misinterpreted as a romantic movie. If i had it my way, i would've categorized it as a horror film. I don't think i've ever been so edgy and terrified watching a movie that i've already seen a couple of hundred times.
The whole destruction of Titanic just drags on for hours and it's agonizing to watch humanity crumble as desperation guides the characters' every move. All that scrambling. Deaths. Abuse. It's almost unbearable to watch yet you just can't move away.
I just wished that AIMST students would grow up a little rather than laugh inappropriately at scenes. Gees.
I loved the part when Jack is sketching Rose and the camera zooms right into her right eye and then when it zooms out the plot returns to the 101 year old Rose narrating. It was rather brilliant but the hall burst out laughing, damn sapu. -_____-
Nevertheless it was a fantastic movie. Cinematographically exaggerated, some lines were rather cheesy but i loved so many odd details about the movie that they just overshadow the flaws. Not to mention tremendous acting. Shot the then 23 year old Leonardo Dicaprio into superstardom. Or what was known back then as 'Leo-Mania'.
I think in 1997, many boyfriends were dumped because they weren't 'Jack' enough. I swear he was the Edward Cullen of the 90s.
*
That's quite enough about Titanic. I can't believe 12 years on and i still love this movie.
Today i read this off Jolene's blog. And it's 2 in the morning, my insomnia is back thanks to Jack Dawson, and it's rather personal but i feel like i have the need to talk about this.
Self-esteem. I don't think it's apparent to anyone on or off the internet that i have issues with it. It's not like one big massive secret or anything like that, but i never had the time, energy nor the opportunity to have this confrontation with myself.
Fine. Here goes.
A lot of times i do not like the way i look. It's all a bit mythical to me how i got to be the way i am. My parents are rather attractive people. By some evil turn of nature, i inherited some of the worst features. I didn't get my mother's alabaster skin, my father's large eyes nor his unsinkable metabolism.
Instead i have this face that looks perpetually pissed off, legs that i have to wax every 6 seconds, baby toes, no eyelashes, jaundiced tone, this clown nose that landed from Mars, and unforgivable skin.
I never leave home without make up. Which only makes me look 0.9% better so that kids don't run away screaming. This is why i sometimes prefer to stay in my room during meals, so i don't have to make the effort of putting on my 'face'.
And it doesn't help that im friends with like the hottest people in the university as you can probably see here, here and here.
Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful, irreplaceable people.
I used to find some sort of consolation because i was skinny and could wear anything, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore because puberty ended. DAMN YOU HORMONES! I used to think i have huge boobs but that's negligible now because my arms are so fat they completely distract you from anything else.
It's embarrassing for me to say this but no guy has ever randomly asked me for my number. Well except Dr Arulmoli but HE DOESN'T COUNT!
I hate people'd post stuff like I wished I wasn't so beautiful then maybe people might stop using me on Postsecret. Oh boohoo, bitches.
There's an attractive girl on my facebook who recently screamed I WANT TO BE ANOREXIC on her status. FML.
If you look into my archives you'd notice that there aren't a lot of pictures of me back in school. That's because i used to hate having my photos taken. I was unbelievably self conscious of so many little things. My classmates used to call me horse face or anorexic or the conductor (because i had braces and they conducted electricity, and i conducted the school during the national anthem. Har har har wtf).
I think i survived school because my closer friends were all guys, and they just didn't gave a shit about things like that. I was never the girl guys wanted to get to know. I was the one who was asked to pass love notes to my best friend. The one whom you can talk to about sports and cars and girlfriend problems.
It wasn't that i was boyfriendless or anything, but the guys who were interested in me was because
a) i played football
b) they wanted to 'improve their English' TRUE LAH DONT LAUGH NIAAAA.
c) i was 'nice'. Which is again true. I used to be so friendly to everyone that the gangster dailou publicly declared that he loved me. Scared me shitless.
Not because they thought i was gorgeous and they wanted to stare in my eyes all day and get lost in my soul.
A boy who had a crush on me in school tried to impress me with "Although my classmates think you are ugly but to me you are the prettiest girl in the world" or some shit like that. Thanks a lot. -_____- But then again we were what 14? So in the MTV era it was supposed to be flattering.
You know those tag your friends things on facebook? I think it says a lot, people always tag me as 'the smart one' or 'the musical one', 'the artsy one', 'the nerd' I think i got this like 3 times, 'the one who saves the day' wtf.
The whole purpose of this post is to, get this off my chest. Not because i want people to come Aww come on lah Aimee i think you're hot to boost my ego, because i know what i am and i know what i am not. I'm not going to wake up pretty one day and that's okay with me.
And for the love of all things, please don't call me up and ask me whether i am doing all right. If i have blogged about it, it means that i have come to terms with it, thus i have gotten over it and never want to talk about it again. It's the things that i DON'T blog about that you should be worried about.
I have pretty pouty lips, so for what it's worth it keeps me going.
People say that HollywoodBollywoodSouthKoreaVanityFair has distorted the whole image of beauty that everyone's starting to look the same. But that's only true to a certain extent. Pretty people will always be pretty even though there are 923 identicals roaming around figuring out how to screw a light bulb.
It's not even true that we unpretty people have an edge over them because we're smarter. There are so many out there who are BOTH smart and gorgeous. So i suppose there will never be any kind of equilibrium when it comes to these things.
But hey. Not all hope is lost. One day i will make a lot of money. Be able to afford pedicures and SK-II and rm400 haircuts.
But for now...i will continue hiding in my room.
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| | Posted 6/6/2009 2:46 AM - 8279 Views - 0 eProps - 3 comments
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